Explosions
by debzzz
Summary: When the cauldron explodes, everything else in Remus's life does too. Living in a body that's not your own can lead to awkward and uncomfortable situations. Remus only blames James-not that Sirius is helping any. Slash of the Sirius/Remus persuasion.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **Remus is having a very bad day. When the cauldron explodes…well, everything else does too along with it. It was all James fault, really. It almost always is. Sirius/Remus

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything. But boy, if I did…

**A/N:** I was planning for this to be a one-shot. Apparently, that was impossible and now this fic is completely out of control. The rating might change in the following chapter(s), I'm not sure yet. The idea belongs to Blue Skyes101 who left me this prompt in the 'Request Challenges' Harry Potter Forum:

_Sirius/Remus Through some freak magical accident, maybe in Potion's class, Sirius and Remus switch bodies. They then learn their true feelings for each other. You could even expose some Slytherin friendships that the two have or go into Sirius and Regulus' relationship._

_Quotes:_

_"Wait, does that mean I'm wearing your underwear?"_

_"Great, now I'm short."_

_"You mean you don't hate me?"_

_"So I'm a werewolf now? Do I get to join an exclusive club?"_

_Prompts:_

_Pineapple_

_Linen_

_Dog Bone_

_Wand_

_Lamp_

This first part was written a bit hurriedly and it's unbeta'd. If there's anyone willing to help me with all the atrocious mistakes, you're welcome to do so! Enjoy…

xxx

Contrary to popular belief, James Potter is not an idiot. Sure, everyone knows, from the Professors to the slimy wannabes in first year in Slytherin, that he's a brilliant student. However, everybody somehow neglects or simply misses the fact that James is also a very intelligent person when it comes to something other than school subjects and talent in magic. He's quite perceptive, actually, when it comes to people and relationships.

That's why he knew right away that Sirius would be his best friend in the world, why he feels his hatred for Snape is reasonable and why Lily Evans and him will end up married some day in the—hopefully not so distant—future. She'll come around eventually he reckons (since they're _destined_ to be together), she just needs a bit more time; not everyone can see such a blinding truth as clearly as him. That's also why he knows, before everybody else has figured it out, that Sirius may not be in fact as straight as all girls wish he were and that Remus is definitely interested in personally finding out if the above statement is true.

However, as mentioned above, James is not an idiot. Just because he happens to know these things for a fact doesn't mean he'll actually do something about it. Yet.

It turns out, eventually, that being the seventeen year-old boys they are, after a little while James starts getting tired as suddenly pranks and general mischief are not enough to vent all the pent up frustration hormones can cause. He promises himself he won't allow his brain to form any plans to force Sirius and Remus face their—_uh! he hates that bloody word_—'feelings' and get on with it so he can continue with his efforts of seducing Evans in peace.

He actually manages to hold back for two whole weeks before he breaks and he starts forming a very wicked, very promising and very entertaining (for him and Peter, not Remus and Sirius, let's not be daft here) plan in his head. It's a true masterpiece, one of his very brightest ideas and he feels ridiculously proud of himself for having thought of it.

Of course, it all then goes to waste because Slughorn has to go and pair him off for the first time in all five and a half years he has been at Hogwarts with one Lily Evans. And reluctant or not, he figures, Lily will have to make at least some kind of conversation with him and James, the poor, lovestruck bloke that he is, could not ever possibly divert his attention completely from her. In retrospect, it may had been a wise move to tell Peter about the plan and allowed him to help, but at the moment it had seemed unnecessary and kind of risky considering Pete's reputation and history with Potions.

In any case, James's plan to enhance the undoubtedly perfect Veritaserum Sirius and Remus would produce in order for the vapour to slightly affect them, backfires like a broken wand in a duel.

In his defence, Lily had been smiling at him.

xxx

Remus's day hadn't been a good one so far. Between a second year Hufflepuff accidentally dumping his breakfast on him, Peter staining his Transfiguration essay with bacon grease and getting stuck for fifteen minutes on a staircase Peeves had somehow blocked…well, his patience had started running thin. The fact that he had lost a bet the previous evening and had now an afternoon playing fetch with Padfoot to look forward to didn't exactly help. Now, of course, Remus loved Padfoot, sometimes he was even more bearable than Sirius himself, but with the full moon less than a week away, the thought alone of what was waiting for him made his knees weak.

Potions was a subject he was never really good at and Slughorn pairing him off with Sirius seemed like the brightest moment of his day so far. Sirius was really good at Potions. Basically, Sirius was good at everything—from Charms to Arithmacy and from Quidditch to being annoying. Like right now for example.

"You're lucky, Moonbeam," he whispered, "my heart cries for all your lost cauldrons to this day, but today…today you're honoured to be paired with the best in this class."

"You're excellent at Potions, Sirius, but you're not the best," Remus hissed through clenched teeth. "And stop with that nickname, it's de-"

"WHAT?"

"Shh! Keep your voice down!"

"What?" Sirius whispered loudly this time, "I'm not the best in Potions?"

"Oh come on, everyone knows that S-"

"Chop that, will you?" Sirius interrupted him. "And try to make the pieces even this time, okay?" he said offhandedly and Remus simply rolled his eyes because, honestly, Sirius could be such a child sometimes. An adorable one at that.

"I was going to say that Lily is the best one."

"You were going to say 'Snivellus' and don't you try and deny it! I will not tolerate this, Remus. No friend of mine is allowed to talk like that about him."

"Actually, you're wrong, Padfoot," Remus smirked, "I was going to say 'Snape'."

Remus knew he was being cruel on purpose, but he enjoyed immensely rising Sirius's temper in class and watching him while he tried to control it. His face would always turn a lovely, but kind of disturbing purple shade and a vein would pulse rhythmically on his left temple.

Remus just kept smirking.

"What is Prongs doing?" Sirius asked in an obviously desperate attempt to change the subject. However, when Remus turned his head to glance towards James and Lily's direction, he did note that the former was showing a surprising lack of interest in what the later was saying. "I imagined he would pee himself from his excitement to be within touching distance of Evans," Sirius commented thoughtfully.

"Hm…Maybe he finally had enough of Lily's lecturing? Who knows wh- Sirius! Watch out, will you?" Remus almost cried as the bottle containing four rather fragile Jobberknoll Feathers crashed on the floor.

"What? I didn't even touch it!"

"Okay, let's focus on the Potion and leave James and his weird behaviour in peace for now, okay?"

"Alright, mate, calm down…Hey, is the potion supposed to do th-"

_BOOM_

The saddest part was that Remus wasn't even surprised. The explosion was not the worst in Remus's long history of explosions, but the smell of the spilt potion was extremely disgusting and he didn't think he had ever felt a stronger need for fresh air. He could hear Sirius almost gagging.

"I think not…" Remus said in a thick voice as a light pink, gooey substance dripped from his hair to his face.

"But, we didn't do anything wrong!" Sirius almost managed to pout as he tried to peer into the cauldron that was completely covered in thick white fumes, plugging his nose with his fingers.

"Mr. Lupin, Mr. Black, what on earth have you done, my dear boys?" Slughorn's worried voice came as he manoeuvred between the desks, trying to reach theirs. "Are you alright?"

"Uh, yeah, yes, I think we're fine," Remus said while trying to remove the remains of the failed potion from his eyes.

"I think pink is quite your colour, Remus, it compliments your hair," Sirius chuckled right before he tried to turn towards James, probably in order to share the joke, but as fortune would have it, he slipped on the potion that was covering the floor and crashed squarely on Remus himself.

And that was precisely the moment everything took a turn for the crazy…and that says a lot when you've spent five years sleeping next to James Potter and Sirius Black.

"I-" Remus begun, once he detached Sirius's limbs from himself and helped him regain his balance, but his voice sounded wrong so he cleared his throat and tried again, "I-I think, uh...there's something wrong."

"You think?" Sirius deadpanned after a few seconds of watching him. "Your face looks like it's melting," he said.

"I think you should visit Madam Pomfrey immediately," Slughorn said, looking sceptical-a true sign that something had indeed gone terribly wrong, "and someone should probably call Professor McGonagall. I'll be there as soon as the class is dismissed, in about twenty minutes."

The ones who offered to help Sirius and Remus to the Infirmary and make sure McGonagall was notified, were James and Peter of course. The fact that James was not howling with laughter by that time, distressed Remus more than anything else really.

The walk to the Infirmary was unusually quiet and Remus was not even surprised. If Sirius was experiencing half of the things Remus was, he couldn't imagine him wanting to talk for any reason.

There was something very strange happening to his body. He couldn't exactly pinpoint the source of his discomfort, but he just didn't feel right in his own skin. There was a tingling sensation around his muscles that reached right to his bones and cut through them; not exactly painful, but not pleasant either. He felt like scratching his arms and legs and back as if there was an unidentifiable itch. He wanted to shake his hair out of his face, brush them aside, but that was completely ridiculous. He had never had long enough hair to do this.

"Merlin's beard!" James exclaimed and Remus whipped around, not being used to James sounding so distressed and he almost fell over his own feet.

"Wow, watch it, er…Remus," Peter said when he managed to catch him. His eyes were huge and he was definitely staring. Remus didn't comment on it, he just threw James a curious glance silently asking what on earth had happened, but James ignored him, so he just kept walking straight ahead, hoping there wouldn't be any more accidents.

Peter soon left them to head to the Transfiguration classroom and the three boys quickly reached their destinations with no accidents happening. For once the Infirmary was completely empty and Madam Pomfrey heard them entering right away and she rushed to see what was the problem with them this time. The look she gave them as soon as she was close enough to inspect them was not unexpected, especially considering their record of accidents and injuries. What was unexpected was the stern look she threw at Remus before speaking. He had honestly thought she kind of had a soft spot for him.

"What have you done this time Mr. Black?" she asked him and Remus just stared at her.

"What? I'm not-" he tried to say because apparently, after five years of taking care of him, she had somehow forgotten his name. "This is Si-" and that's how far into the sentence Remus managed to go before he lost all ability of speech because as soon as he turned to indicate Sirius, the English language failed him.

"What." he managed to say at last, not able to take his eyes off of- well, _his eyes._

Because Remus was staring down at himself. Right in front of him was standing a complete and perfect duplicate of himself; and he was staring _down_ at it.

"Great," said the duplicate, "now I'm short."

"What." Remus repeated unintelligently and this time he noted that he didn't recognise the voice that came from his throat at all. He lifted his hands slowly and he took in a sharp breath when the hands that came into view were not his own, but a pair he knew almost just as well. "Oh my God."

"Is that what I sound like? Really?" Sirius said in Remus's voice and it was very much disconcerting how unfazed he was by the whole thing. "I thought my voice was deeper…"

Remus turned sharply around and glared at James who had stayed a few feet behind and was trying to decide if it was a good moment to start laughing or not. "What did you do?"

"What? Nothing!" James exclaimed, managing to sound offended. Remus knew better.

"You're obviously feeling guilty James, otherwise you'd at least have made a dirty joke by now," Remus accused and Sirius seemed to agree with him as he turned questioning eyes on his best friend.

"Well…there might have been an- uh, accident…"

"Et tu, Brute?" Sirius asked incredulous in a pompous tone that really didn't bode well with Remus's voice.

"You mean to tell me you have somehow managed to switch bodies?" Madam Pomfrey sounded rather amazed and a sinking feeling settled somewhere in Remus's stomach.

"What is going on?" a very familiar voice called from the doors and before he had even turned around he knew the look on McGonagall's face would not be a pleasant one.

"Mr. Black and Mr. Lupin here, appear to have switched places in each other's body, Minerva."

"'Accident' in Potions, Professor," Sirius said and everybody could clearly hear the quotation marks around the first word.

McGonagall remained silent for a few seconds, observing them uncomfortably close and Remus tried very hard not to fidget. "I see. And whose fault was that?"

Three sets of eyes, all except Peter who had been with McGonagall when James made his half-arsed confession, turned to James.

"Of course," McGonagall commented idly, "who else. Detention tomorrow evening at eight o'clock in my office, Mr. Potter. I doubt this was really an accident."

James didn't see the point in complaining, probably used to this by years of personal experience, and soon afterwards, Madam Pomfrey took Sirius and him to give each a thorough examination to make sure nothing else was wrong. Thankfully, the potion didn't appear to have any other kind of effect on them and they wouldn't need to spend any time in the Hospital Wing at all.

When they came out to where James and Peter were waiting for them, Slughorn had already arrived and he was talking in hushed voices with McGonagall.

"Mr. Black, Mr. Lupin, please come here. I think there are a few things we should discuss," McGonagall said. "I'm assuming you're all familiar with Remus's condition?" she asked looking each and every one of them in the eye.

"Yes, of course," James said, "what does it have to do with anything?"

Remus didn't need McGonagall to explain herself because suddenly he understood fully what she was trying to say. Slughorn may be one of the greatest Potions Master, but even he couldn't guarantee how soon he'd be able to find an antidote. And if it took him more than a week, then Sirius…

"No!" Remus cried terrified. This couldn't happen, he wouldn't allow it to happen.

"I'm afraid, Remus, that unfortunately it's not really up to us," McGonagall said in a soft voice, her eyes sympathetic, and Remus hated this, he didn't care how sorry they felt, he didn't care how sympathetic they looked, they would never understand. He wouldn't ever allow Sirius to go through this.

"I promise I'll have the antidote ready as soon as possible," Slughorn said.

"Merlin's pants!" James shouted as realisation sank in and the guilt shown on his face almost made Remus forgive him.

"Wait," Sirius finally said in a grave voice, probably realising what was going to happen if Slughorn had any difficulty with the potion. "Does that mean I'm wearing your underwear?" Or probably not.

"Oh for Merlin's sake, Sirius…" Remus sighed.

"Cause that's kinky," Sirius went on smirking, completely unaware of the dark and dangerous possibilities his future might hold.

"Mr. Black, please do keep these thoughts to yourself," McGonagall shook her head. "In six days it's the full moon and if you don't have the potion by then you will be transforming in Remus's position. I'm sure that's something we would all like to avoid."

"I know, but it's okay," Sirius shrugged and Remus just stared at him. James chuckled and Peter squeaked a bit. Nobody—_nobody_, not even Sirius Black, should ever be allowed to feel so relaxed about the possibility of turning into a werewolf.

"No, Sirius, it's not okay, it's so far from okay, you'd have to Apparate on the Moon for it to be even remotely close to okay," Remus said in a sad voice.

"There's nothing you can do for now, though" Slughorn said, "so I'd suggest you try and keep your calm. Mr. Potter, would you mind accompanying me to my office? I need to know what exactly happened to that potion."

As James left with Slughorn and McGonagall, the three Marauders left headed to the Great Hall for dinner and ready to face the confusion that would follow when people would start noticing the differences.

Remus was almost one hundred percent sure that Sirius had already started thinking of new pranks he would best execute in his new form and he decided he didn't really want to know and he wouldn't ask if he didn't absolutely have to. As he walked towards the Gryffindor table, Remus tried very hard not to think of the alone time in a bathroom he would soon have to face, especially seeing as he was in a very public place, in a body that didn't belong to him.

xxx

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** The second and (surprisingly) _not_ last chapter in this story. I'm kinda scared of where this is going…I really had not planned to write so much. This is still unbeta'd, so any mistakes are my own property, so please don't copy them. However, anyone wishing to help me eliminate them is welcome to do so.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything (apart from the afore-mentioned mistakes) nor am I making any profit from this. Please don't sue me, I can't afford a lawyer.

**A/N #2:** I just wanted to say that I tried very, very hard to give Peter some kind of personality and a small role. I really don't like him (who does?) and I really don't like writing him. I hope he at least comes across as an average human being. Enjoy…

xxx

The Great Hall was full as it always was during dinner time, students finally winding down from a full day, readying themselves for the horror that always follows: homework. Dinner was a quiet affair for the three Marauders. It consisted mostly of Remus fidgeting and blushing because of all the attention people (girls, actually) were paying to him, Peter nearly gaping at them and catching himself every fifteen seconds or so and Sirius…well, Sirius was just eating.

"How can you be so relaxed?" Remus finally asked him because it was starting to really bother him.

"Well, it's not like we can do anything, you know. Slughorn said it himself; we just need to wait for the potion."

"Yeah, but aren't you in the least bit worried that maybe, _just maybe_, Slughorn won't be able to make an antidote? At least in time for…you-know-what!"

"But, but," Peter said looking extremely worried, "Slughorn is one of the best…Surely they won't let Sirius tran- you-know-what!"

All three of them had almost finished eating, but neither made a move to get up. They had agreed to wait a bit for James, otherwise they would meet him at the dorms.

"Peter is right, Moony," Sirius nodded at Peter's direction, "Slughorn will have the antidote ready in no time, don't get your panties in a twist."

"All right," Remus reluctantly agreed and decided to follow Sirius's example of calmness and lack of anxiety. It was mostly stupidity, though.

"Don't you feel weird at all, you know…not being in your own body?" Peter asked them blushing a bit, but his eyes were curious and eager. The situation was admittedly a very unusual and strange one; once students found out what had happened-_if_ Sirius told anyone before he had pranked the whole school-they would definitely be asking the same question.

"Well…" Sirius began in a very grave tone, "it is a bit disconcerting that I have to _look up_ to some people."

"Oh please, I'm not that short! You make it sound like I'm a dwarf," Remus protested, annoyed that Sirius was still stuck up on that. He was just a couple of inches taller than Remus; not such a great difference really.

"You're surprisingly fit though!" Sirius sounded impressed and quite surprised and Remus tried very hard not to feel offended. "Must be a Moony thing, huh?"

It's not like Remus did any kind of exercise or training, truth be told. James was the fittest one, mostly due to the four solid years of playing as a Chaser for their Quidditch team. Remus also suspected that he exercised secretly sometimes with the seduction of a certain someone in his obsessed mind. Sirius was fit too; he could feel it in the way his new muscles pulled with each movement and the way his hands and legs felt somehow heavier but stronger than his own. It wasn't just because Sirius enjoyed playing Quidditch from time to time with James or because he did any exercise on his own (strangely enough, Sirius wasn't that vain, despite his good looks), but because Sirius was most of the time extremely hyper. Remus guessed that being Padfoot helped him relieve some of the constant need to move and run and jump up and down, but even in his human form, Sirius sometimes just couldn't sit still. Playing chase with Filch on a daily basis presumably helped.

Remus and Peter were both a bit more down to earth when it came to running around and getting themselves in extreme kinds of situations. Remus however, did turn into a werewolf once a month and his body had had to adjust to the transformations early on. While he was extremely thin, he had an amazing stamina that helped him be able to walk after every full moon instead of pathetically crawl around and run until he was sure Filch wouldn't catch him doing something a Prefect shouldn't be doing.

"Uh, Sirius, listen, there's something I wanted to talk to you about…" Remus began uncertainly after a couple of minutes, a thought having occurred to him now that they had eaten and were ready to head back to the dormitories where, eventually, he would have to use the bathroom.

"Yeah, me too!" Sirius said a bit enthusiastically and Remus sighed in relief, guessing he wasn't the only one to have thought of the 'problem' that might occur. "Now that I'm practically you," Remus narrowed his eyes, suddenly a bit wary of what Sirius might have really thought, his excitement being rather suspicious, "we can assume that, technically, that makes me a Prefect."

And of course Sirius would think of that as a priority rather than how he would shower or pee.

"No. Absolutely not!" Remus started vehemently, ready to put a stop to any kind of trouble Sirius would definitely bring upon them. "Don't you dare, Sirius—are you listening to me?" Sirius's eyes snapped back to him from whatever he had been watching and Remus needed a second to breathe because he was hit once again with the absurdity of watching his own face making such a familiar, and completely unfamiliar in the same time, expression. "Listen to me! Don't you dare, for any reason, abuse th-"

"Well, hello there Lily," Sirius smirked towards the same direction he had his attention a few seconds ago. Remus groaned mentally. Great, that's exactly what he needed right now.

"Hi Remus," Lily said to Sirius and threw a brief, but kind of annoyed, glance at Remus himself. This would soon give him a headache. "Can I talk to you for a minute about our patrols?"

"Listen, Lily," Remus began, interrupting whatever Sirius was about to say, as he turned to face her completely, "you remember that accident in Potions today?"

"Um, yes, what about it?" Lily asked and Remus was grateful she actually liked him because he didn't know how Sirius—worse yet, how _James_ managed to face her when she was looking at them like _that_.

"There's no easy way to say this, but…I'm actually Remus and this," he pointed to Sirius's chest, "is actually Sirius. The potion made us change bodies."

There was a profound silence and Remus could practically feel Peter cowering behind him. Lily was looking very thoughtful, but in a very dangerous way and Remus was amazed that one person could successfully combine these two looks. He was ready to plunge into a deeper analysis of what exactly had happened when Sirius let out a very Remus-like sigh.

"Please, Lily, don't mind Sirius being an idiot, he's just trying to confuse you," Sirius said very earnestly and Remus could do nothing but gape at him—his mouth was actually hanging open. "I'm still me and he's still Sirius, the potion just made our skin very itchy, nothing Madam Pomfrey couldn't cure."

"Very funny, Black," Lily threw a disgusted glance at him and then turned towards Sirius once again. "I know he's your friend, Remus, but if I were you, I'd give him a detention just for-"

"Oh for Merlin's sake, Lily, he's lying to you!" Remus said exasperated, not that he blamed Lily, this really did sound like a prank Sirius and James would play on someone. "You can ask Madam Pomfrey, Slughorn or McGonagall if you don't believe me!"

"Sirius, come on, drop it, just give me a minute to talk with Lily," Sirius frowned at him and when he was sure Lily couldn't see his face, he smirked and had the audacity to wink, too.

"You're unbelievable, Sirius! This is not a joke!" Remus half cried but lowered his voice when he noticed that they had started gathering some attention.

"Of course it's not a joke! That's why I'm suggesting you drop this…Just go back to the Tower with Peter and wait for James there. I'll join you in a bit, okay?"

And just like that, Sirius stood up, took Lily's arm and stomped away.

"Wow," Peter said after a couple of minutes of staring at where Sirius and Lily had disappeared, "he's a better actor than I had thought."

"I'm gonna kill him," Remus growled and then turned and dropped his head on the table. "If he earns me a detention, I'm gonna kill him. And then," Remus turned towards Peter, "you're gonna help me catch James and kill him, too. It's all his fault, anyway."

Peter gulped audibly, but before he had the chance to reply, a boy from second or third year in Ravenclaw approached them and cleared his throat loudly.

"Um," the boy began staring at Remus with big, unblinking, watery eyes, "are you- I mean, you're Sirius Black."

Remus leaned back a bit and narrowed his eyes, completely unaware how Sirius-like that expression was. "Yes," he said carefully, "I'm Sirius."

"This is for you," the boy said, extending his hand and dropping in Remus's palm a small piece of parchment.

"Okay," Remus said looking curiously at the small parchment, "thank you."

They waited for the boy to leave and then both he and Peter leaned over Remus's palm and stared at it.

"Well," Peter said, "aren't we going to read it?"

"I wonder what he's been up to…" Remus whispered as he unfolded the parchment and read the note scribbled on it in a small but neat handwriting.

_Today, same time as last week, in the small classroom next to Charms_

"Okay. Do you have any idea what this is?" Peter asked half in awe, half apprehensive.

Remus hummed a bit under his breath and then he slowly smiled, a thought having occurred to him. "No," he answered Peter, "but I plan to find out."

"What? Really? But how? You don't know what time- wait. You're not going to stand outside that classroom waiting all night long?"

"Of course not, Pete. I happen to know what time this person was thinking about," Remus was actually very smug about it because not even James would have known that piece of information.

"You do? How?" Peter was now looking at _him_ in awe and Remus smiled wider. Peter was so easily amazed some times.

"Actually, it's just pure luck. Last Wednesday, I was up late finishing an essay for Flitwick when I heard someone crashing on my trunk. It was Sirius, of course; he was dressed and he was holding something he hid behind his back as soon as he saw me."

"No way! Where was he going?"

"He claimed to be hungry and heading to the kitchens for a midnight snack, but if he was indeed going there he needn't have dressed, not really. Besides," Remus lowered his voice a bit and looked around in case Sirius appeared suddenly, as he was so prone to do, "I asked him to bring me a couple of cookies, but he was so late that I finally fell asleep and only found the cookies the following morning on my bedside table. He was gone for at least an hour."

Remus frowned remembering Sirius's behaviour that night, something he had completely gotten out of his mind until this very moment. Peter was mimicking his expression and after a few moments' silence he spoke. "So you think he had gone to meet this person and now you're going to see who it was?"

"Exactly," Remus said, already planning ways to get James's Invisibility Cloak without anyone noticing. "Come on, let's get back to the Common Room and wait for the others."

Peter nodded and stood up, gathering his things and waiting for him. Once Remus got his stuff from under the table and made to follow Peter out of the Great Hall, he immediately froze, his eyes widening as a very familiar sensation took over his body.

"Damn it!" he cursed and Peter, taken aback at the completely unexplained behaviour, came to see what was wrong. "I can't believe- damn, damn, damn!" Remus almost hopped from leg to leg.

"Remus? Are you alright, mate?" peter looked a bit scared and Remus could do nothing but curse one more time. "Um, do you need- What do you need? Should I call someone?" Remus shook his head in response and started walking rather fast.

"I just- I can't believe I'm about to say that…I need to pee." He was one hundred percent sure that he was blushing harder than he had in a very long time.

"Okay…so wha- Oh. _Oh_!" Remus refused to make eye contact with Peter so he kept his eyes safely on the floor watching Sirius's feet obeying his mind. This was a very weird thing to be thinking about-especially now.

He swallowed before clearing his throat a bit. "Exactly," he said.

"Um…yeah, this- this is uncomfortable," Peter said, almost as red as Remus. "So, er…what are you gonna do?"

"Well, it's not like I can hold it forever, now, is it? I'm gonna burst! And while it's Sirius's body that will have the…erm, lingering effects, I'm going to be the one to feel all the pain and humiliation. Are you following my logic?" Peter's expression stated very clearly that no, he wasn't following his logic and Remus had to admit that it didn't really make much sense.

"You know that Sirius won't be having any problems using the bathroom, right?"

"Yeah, probably," Remus said. He wasn't exactly upset, but he really didn't want to think of Sirius having to touch his private parts while walking down a very public corridor in the middle of the castle.

When they finally made it back to their common room, Sirius and James were already seated in their usual spot, on the big couch right in front of the fireplace. James looked strangely defiant at what Sirius was saying to him. When they got closer and Remus heard what exactly they were talking about he almost gave himself a headache from rolling his eyes so hard.

"…not like I fancy her. This is actually a scary thought, Prongs."

"Yeah, well, why did you do it then?" James said eyeing Sirius intently.

"Detentions, Prongsie! Detentions! A whole lot of them, given to unsuspect-"

"Sirius!" Remus cried in shock, "What did I say about not abusing my privileges as Prefect?"

"Oh come on, Rem! Don't be such a spoilsport! I won't overdo it, Evans will be there, remember?" Sirius whined in a high voice that made him sound almost like a girl. Remus was momentarily shocked by how his voice could resemble the noises cats produced while in heat and made a mental note to never whine in a high voice ever again.

"Forget it, Sirius, I'm talking to Lily and this time she'll have to take James and Peter's word for it."

"Ha! As if she would ever listen to Prongs!"

"Oi! I'm sitting right here," James cuffed the back of Sirius's head and turned towards Remus, "For what it's worth, I'll talk to her."

"Actually," Peter chimed in, "last week, Lily did listen to James when he warned her about Filch lurking in that corridor…you know, trying to give detention to anyone who passed by," James nodded frantically as if to prove Peter's point.

"Okay, then, have it your way. It won't be the girl of _my_ dreams that will be seen walking around the castle during the night with one Sirius Black," Sirius said offhandedly, the evil smirk playing in the corner of his mouth showing he knew exactly how manipulative he was being.

"WHAT? You wouldn't dare-" James jumped out of the couch and then turned to Remus his face almost purple, "Remus. I forbid you to have any kind of interaction with Evans while you're in this prat's body! Am I making myself clear?"

"James, this is not a joke! For the millionth time, I can't just let Sirius walk around handing detentions to Slytherins just because he feels like it!"

"I won't be handing too many detentions, okay? I promise," Sirius finally relented, "I will just verbally abuse them."

"Sirius…"

"Last offer, Moony."

Remus didn't even deign that with a response. He was hopeless when it came to something the other Marauders would ask; especially when it came to _Sirius_. He just slumped on the couch and not before two minutes had passed he was reminded by his—Sirius's..._whatever_—body very forcefully of a certain 'business' he had to take care of.

"Um…Sirius? Do you mind if I talk to you for a minute?"

"No," Sirius said simply without bothering to even look up from the silly hangman game he had at some point begun playing with James. Remus tried to control his breathing because he knew Sirius was just actively trying to annoy him.

"The word's _Billywig_, now come on, I need to speak to you _in private_, right now," he said, this time grabbing Sirius's arm and tugging.

"All right," Sirius let Remus drug him to the first steps of the stairs leading up the boys' dormitories, but stopped before they had started climbing up. "What's gotten into you? Oh wait. Me! Heh, see what I did there?" Sirius chuckled with his own stupid joke until he noticed Remus's look. "What's going on?" he asked sobering up.

"Come on, I can't talk to you about this with so many people around," Remus whispered and started mounting the stairs. Before long, the noises of the common room were behind them and they were standing in their dormitory, Remus nervous and awkward, Sirius curious and expectant. "Well?" he said.

"Um…I don't know if you…er. Have you-?" Remus cleared his throat and tried again, knowing that Sirius would make him spit it out one way or another. "I have to use the bathroom and I just, um…you know, wanted to make sure…uh…come on, Padfoot…Help me out here."

"But you are doing spectacularly fine by yourself, dear Moony. So eloquent! Who'd have thought?" Sirius was surprisingly not smirking, but simply smiling at him.

"You're such a wanker," Remus accused, but without any real heat behind the words.

"Interesting choice of words there, mate…Especially considering what you're trying to say," Sirius this time did smirk.

"Don't you feel awkward at all? Not even a little?"

"Well," Sirius started and Remus was sure he looked a bit red in the face this time, "yeah, I guess, but it's not like we have a choice right? I mean we obviously can't help each other…" he trailed off and then there was silence.

For quite a long time.

Remus waited and waited, but didn't dare look at Sirius's face to see what expression he would find there. At least it seemed that he had, at long last, found something that fazed Sirius; he just wished it was something that didn't make him blush like a fresh tomato, either.

He finally cleared his throat, what seemed like years later and after he had observed the very interesting patters he had never known were there on the carpet, and said, "Well, I'd better go…I've been wanting to talk to you about this since dinner and now…yeah, um, I really have to go."

"Sure, yeah, okay…just erm…don't, you know," Sirius made a very wild and very general motion with his hand while trying desperately to keep his eyes on the wall behind Remus. He looked completely demented.

"Uh no, I don't know…What do you-?" Remus wished the floor would open up under his feet at some point in the next five seconds because he wanted to be _done_ with this conversation. And how unfair life was, when there were precisely sixteen steps in all of Hogwarts's stairs that were ready to swallow your feet, but not a freaking floor that would open up at request?

"Nothing! Just- nothing! Go," Sirius said, turning redder by the second and Remus didn't dare question anything that would give him an out. He just turned around and practically ran to the bathroom.

Once the door was closed and locked behind him, he took a few seconds to will his heart to beat normally before it kicked up again at the thought that he really did have to pee_, right now_.

He figured that there really was no way around it. He unbuttoned his pants and looked at the toilet thoughtfully. He reckoned he could move as close as possible and not have to touch any part of Sirius's body, but then, the thought of said parts accidentally touching anything else made his mind break a bit.

In the end it was pure instinct that got him out of the dilemma. Being right in front of the toilet with his pants undone, his body apparently decided that it was given permission to relieve itself right about _now_; it was either grabbing- well, _himself_ or peeing on his shoes. Remus's mind thankfully chose the former and he recited the seven uses of a dragon's blood in his mind while his hand was occupied.

Afterwards, he washed his hands at least twice, but he couldn't lie to himself and pretend he now didn't know some personal details of Sirius's anatomy, he really didn't have any place knowing. No matter how hard he tried to will his thoughts away, his mind traitorously supplied him with the memory, reminding him that somehow he had invaded Sirius's privacy.

And Remus could freely admit to himself that lately Sirius held a bigger interest for him than anyone else in many ways, but he still felt uncomfortable touching his body when Sirius wasn't really in any way able to give consent.

Returning to the common room was a bit more awkward than anticipated, mainly because he realised that now everyone knew he had a more profound knowledge of Sirius's body than anyone else. Remus stubbornly avoided eye contact with any of his friends.

Although the following day was a Tuesday and he had already finished his homework during the weekend, he decided on looking over some of his essays, an easy way to avoid interactions that might end up painfully embarrassing and to give him time to think of how he would take James's Cloak later that night. He knew where James was usually keeping it, but he didn't feel really comfortable with stealing it. In the end, he simply decided on waiting until Sirius left with Lily for the patrols and asking James if he could give it to him then. That, however, left him with plenty of time with nothing but waiting and he dreaded spending it alone with his own thoughts.

As it turned out, James had no problem with lending him the Cloak, the excuse of needing some chocolate from the kitchens a plausible one, and Remus stashed it under his pillow and pretended to go to sleep early asking Peter secretly to come and tell him once Sirius would be back.

xxx

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **Sorry for the long wait, I was down with the flu for ten whole days! I'm hoping to write a bit more during the Holidays!

**Disclaimer: **I don't ownanything but my imagination.

Still unbeta'd, so any mistakes are my own. Enjoy…

xxx

The moonlight passed through the half parted curtains and hit Remus's outstretched hand, slipping through his spread fingers like molten silver. It clashed with the deep red that surrounded him, somehow the dim light making everything seem ashen and ominous. Remus sighed as his fingers played with the weak moonbeams, creating shadows and shapes that may or may not remind him of Sirius.

_Sirius_.

Remus sighed again. He knew he was selfish. When the Hat had placed him in Gryffindor, all those years ago, Remus had been so proud. His mum had also been in Gryffindor and she was one of the strongest and bravest people he had ever known. But Remus had soon discovered, much to his disappointment and self-pity, that maybe—just maybe—the Hat had been wrong.

Remus didn't think he was strong; he certainly was not brave. He couldn't stand up to his own friends when they took a joke or a prank just a little bit too far, he couldn't find it in him to insist they stayed away during the full moons because, really, it was still too dangerous, and he couldn't even try to face Sirius about his feelings.

He was selfish and weak, Remus knew that. Right now, though, with his thoughts taking him to very dangerous places, Remus was actually scared of just _how_ selfish he could really be. The temptation to spend the full moon in Sirius's body was getting stronger with every passing moment.

He knew that ultimately he wouldn't allow that to happen, that is, _if_ it was in his own hand, but the plans—a true Marauder's plans—forming in his treacherous mind of how he could delay the making of Slughorn's antidote were unsettling him, filling him with guilt and shame. Still, Remus couldn't deny the longing he felt deep in his bones, deep in his very soul, to spend just one full moon as a human, standing on two legs and having complete control over his body and mind.

He also knew that all he had to do was simply ask Sirius and the other boy would say yes instantly. That's the kind of person Sirius was; he'd do anything for his friends, even go as far as turn into a werewolf. But Remus didn't want him to, not really. Even if it weren't for the blasted, newly found feelings Remus had for him, Sirius was one of his best friends and one of the people closest to him in his entire life, so Remus knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he ever allowed Sirius to do this for him.

But still, the temptation was there and it haunted him during the hours he spent alone in the dormitory.

At half past ten, Peter came in to tell him that Sirius and Lily had just returned from 'their' Prefect duties and that he and James would play a couple of games of Wizard's chess before going to bed. Remus said goodnight to Peter promising he would tell him what would happen with the mysterious person Sirius was supposed to be meeting in the morning.

xxx

There were three things absolutely necessary in any Marauder escapade (that is, apart from the brilliance of their minds as Sirius so modestly put it and apart from their wicked ways with a wand as James so elegantly put it.) One, the Invisibility Cloak; it belonged to James, but he was more than happy to lend it to one of his friends if mischief called for it. Two, the twin mirrors Sirius and James had purchased last year; sure, they belonged to the two boys but the mirrors had actually proved very helpful and had saved and entertained all four Marauders on many occasions. And three, the Map—the Marauder's Map; it was their greatest achievement to that day along with James, Sirius and Peter becoming Animagi.

The Map was something that astonished even Remus himself. It had been a project almost impossible and exceptionally demanding and when, barely two months ago, the final spells were placed after two years of hard work, Remus couldn't believe they had really made it work. James and Sirius were surely two of the most brilliant minds in Hogwarts at the moment, but they had never really shown any talent in sitting their arses down and actually researching and working hard; that's where Remus had come in and made them concentrate and see some results.

At some point, though, Remus had been a little bit disturbed by the power the Map held and what they had really created when he realised the extent to which the Map's power went. Seeing the Minister of Magic's name on it, when he hadn't been present at Hogwarts when the Map had still been at workings, had alerted Remus. Of course, James had rushed to say that there was nothing wrong with the 'unexpected wide-reach'—to use James's own words—the Map had, especially since they had never used Dark magic and they never would. But Remus knew that magic didn't have to be Dark in order for it to be dangerous. He supposed, though, that nothing bad would happen as long as they took good care of it.

Remus put on the Cloak and folded the Map and placed it safely in his pocket for the moment. He already knew enough of Hogwarts and Filch's habits to not need its assistance just yet. He also didn't want to give into the temptation and look at the name of the other person heading towards the small classroom next to Charms; it was likely that he would chicken out and then beat himself up for missing the chance to find out Sirius's secret or that he would simply work himself up in a temper. The thought of Sirius meeting up with a girl in secret for some reason, while unlikely—unless the girl was from Slytherin (Remus shuddered)—was enough to drive him crazy. The fact that Remus was in l-…had a _crush_ on his best friend didn't really give him the right to be possessive. Besides, there was a small part of his mind that doubted Sirius would ever meet up with a girl, in secret or not, for entirely different reasons.

The castle was cold and empty and Remus briefly wondered why nobody had ever thought of placing warming charms in the corridors, but then again, nobody was supposed to be wandering them in the middle of a freezing February night.

The castle was quiet and Remus placed a charm on his feet so that his footsteps became completely silent. He found the passageway leading down to Sixth Floor and slipped easily through the narrow corridors leading down to Fifth and then Fourth Floor. He made sure to check before rounding each corner and just as he was descending the last steps leading to the Third Floor he spotted Mrs. Norris standing right in the middle of the entrance to the Charms corridor.

Remus cursed silently his luck, but it was only to be expected after navigating through four floors without encountering even a single ghost. He looked towards the opposite way and he saw his chance as a stair leading to a bathroom situated for some unknown reason between two floors started moving very, very slowly. He conjured up a small, blue hummingbird from a piece of wood he was carrying around with him after Sirius had suggested it. He made sure it was completely mute before sending a few sparks and awakening one of the portraits just as the bird flew past it.

Thankfully, Mrs. Norris had not spotted the bird before the old woman in a very exuberant green dress had started praising the colours of its feathers and cooing and calling to it. The cat's attention snapped right to the portrait and when it spotted the blue hummingbird, it predictably jumped right behind it, chasing fast enough that it was on the stair before it had completely moved out of reach.

Remus smirked and turned to the corridor feeling both self-satisfied and awkward at breaking so many rules so easily. He decided to temporarily blame Sirius's body for this; he had once heard something called 'muscle memory' and he chose to accept that theory as he was sure that, had he been in his own body, he would at least feel more guilty.

The small classroom next to the main Charms one was reserved for extra practice sessions or for private tutoring and it was bare inside but for a handful of desks. Remus paused right outside its closed door and took a deep breath before pulling out the Map and muttering _'I solemnly swear that I am up to no good'_. He rolled his eyes at how terribly accurate that was in the present moment.

He tried to make as little noise as possible as he unfolded the map and searched for the Third Floor and for the Charms corridor. It appeared that the classroom was already occupied and Remus stared hard for a few seconds before resigning himself and thinking that really, he should've expected that.

xxx

"Is this your wand?" Regulus asked and Remus noted that what he should have _also_ expected was for Sirius's brother to be at least as smart as Sirius himself.

"Yes, that's my wand," Remus confirmed, gripping said wand a bit too tightly.

"Are you sure?" Regulus asked, this time leaning a bit towards him in order to take a better look.

"I'm positive this is my wand; I should know after six years." Remus's voice had gone tense now with the insecurity that gripped him.

"Hm…I thought it was a bit longer and darker…" Regulus went on thoughtfully, apparently reluctant to drop he subject.

"You haven't seen enough of it, obviously."

"Yeah, but-"

"Would you _like_ to see more of my wand, Regulus?" Remus asked in what he hoped was an _annoying big-brother_ way. It certainly was an _annoying Sirius_ way so he supposed it would have the same effect. Regulus thankfully shook his head rather resigned to keep his mouth shut in case he ended up on the wrong side of a vicious hex.

Remus was practically trembling. He could feel his heart skipping every other beat and he had the impression that his hands hadn't stopped sweating from the moment Regulus looked into his eyes. The classroom was cold and bigger than he had expected and somehow Sirius's little brother was terrifying; what with his booming voice, snarky expression and easy remarks about wands. Remus felt like a fish out of water.

It had been such a stupid idea to enter the classroom even after he had seen Regulus's name. Unfortunately, curiosity had gotten the better of him and he found himself opening the door to one of the most uncomfortable, awkward and kind of dangerous situations he had ever found himself in. And Remus had once found himself diving in the lake butt-naked in a cold March evening thanks to a stupid bet; so that was saying a lot.

Remus didn't know much about Regulus, other than what Sirius sporadically told them and that mostly consisted of insults and mockery. Worst of all, he didn't really know what kind of relationship the two brothers had—or at least used to have—and how Sirius treated the other boy. Remus didn't remember when was the last time he had seen them talking—or even shouting and fighting—with each other. Sirius usually made sure he avoided any unnecessary contact with the younger Slytherin.

And that's exactly what had picked Remus's curiosity. What could have possibly happened that would lead Sirius to offer his help to Regulus with his Transfiguration? He desperately wanted to find out, but he couldn't come up with a way of asking or bringing the subject up.

"Hey, are you even listening to me?" Regulus asked a bit too close to Remus's ear and he almost jumped out of his chair.

"What?"

"I'm talking to you, Sirius, the least you can do is pay attention," Regulus almost pouted and Remus was disconcerted by how familiar the expression was before it turned into a smirk. "Unless of course you'd rather not be here; unless you'd prefer to be with your so beloved little Gryffindor friends."

Remus tried to keep a neutral expression, sure that, had Sirius been here, he would have had a very sarcastic and very inappropriate answer ready, but he chose to stay quite, silently gouging Regulus to go one.

"You can, you know, leave…"

"But?" Remus inquired indifferently, while his heart threatened to jump out of his ribcage and fall in his lap.

"Don't play dumb, Sirius. You know I wouldn't really have any trouble acting on my threat. Your pathetic little secret means nothing to me." Damn. Why couldn't Regulus be a little bit more specific?

Remus mentally slapped himself. Not so many hours ago he had felt he was violating Sirius's privacy by doing something as natural as peeing, and now he was trying to make Regulus spill Sirius's secrets. That was a new low for him. Wouldn't Sirius and James be delighted.

"And why didn't you try to bother someone else with this, Regulus?" he couldn't help but ask.

"First of all, stop calling me Regulus, you're not Mother. Second of all, I'm a Slytherin, I had to have some fun." Regulus's square logic left Remus completely baffled. He tried to avoid believing in stereotypes, but apparently Regulus was a living and breathing one.

"Okay, _Reg_," Remus had heard in the distant past Sirius calling him that, "where do you want to begin from, today?"

xxx

All in all, Remus had to admit, the tutoring had gone smoothly for the biggest part. He remained cold and distant and when Regulus didn't comment on his behaviour he guessed that Sirius must have been doing the same.

In the forty minutes they had spent in the classroom, Remus had practiced at least three different kinds of spells Regulus was having difficulty with and he had checked his essay pointing out to the younger boy mistakes and giving him advice on how to add a bit of length by using more quotes and references. Regulus had looked mildly surprised at that and Remus thought that under normal circumstances, the other boy would have expected his brother to suggest he simply make bigger letters.

He was rather tired by the time they had agreed to stop and go back to their respective dormitories, not just because it was late, but also because this day had been rather eventful and full and his mind needed immediately the roughly seven hour of sleep he would get.

As Remus didn't really know how much Regulus knew about Sirius and the other Marauders, he thought it wise to keep the Cloak hidden until he had at least parted with the other boy. As soon as they left the classroom and locked it behind them, Remus's usual awkwardness took residence once again and he started worrying about goodbyes and see-you-later's.

Thankfully, and surprisingly, it was Regulus who turned to him first timidly, his head bowed down, his eyes hiding and expression unreadable.

"Erm," Regulus tried to start before clearing his throat and resuming his little—probably prepared—speech, quickly. "Thanks, you know, and I'm sorry- uh, not really, but you know, anyway, I guess I'll see you in a few days, okay?"

"Hey, Reg…Um, would you mind not meeting up again this week?" Remus asked softly because he really didn't want to go through this while in Sirius's body.

"Oh. Yeah, sure…next week, then?"

"All right, next week."

"Right. Goodnight, Sirius."

"Bye, Reg," Remus replied softly and watched as the other boy turned and walked away.

Remus took the Cloak out and put it on, but instead of turning away and climbing the stairs leading up to the Fourth Floor, he leaned against a wall and slowly slumped down drawing his knees to his chest. He took just a few moments to breathe and he counted his heartbeats one by one by closing his eyes and feeling a vein pulse intently on his temple.

He remembered the day Regulus had been sorted into Slytherin and the reaction Sirius had. In many ways he wished he had never come to see him tonight and yet he couldn't help his natural want to try and fix whatever was broken between them. Sirius was a good actor, but not _that_ good. Remus could see how much he still cared about his brother even in the rare times he would speak of him or fight with him.

Remus didn't think himself as cheesy or sappy. He might have started fancying another bloke, but he hadn't turned into a girl. He still felt awkward with extended shows of affection or prolonged physical contact and he still found flowers mildly annoying. But in that moment he wished he could hug Sirius to his chest and tell him he would listen whatever gibberish profanities he wanted to unleash against his family, that he was there and that, given the chance, he wouldn't ever let go of him.

He knew how broken he himself was and he didn't really delude himself with thoughts of being perfect for fixing Sirius, but he could try and at least they could be broken together.

He slowly got up and started climbing the stairs back to Fourth Floor, the Map in his hand at ready since he was too distracted to pay attention to his surroundings. He reached the portrait of the Fat Lady without any trouble and climbed inside without bothering to take off the Invisibility Cloak.

"So," came a voice from one of the couches in front of the dying fire, "did the kitchens relocate themselves or did you forget how to navigate through the castle, Remus?"

_Shit,_ was the only thought in Remus's mind before taking off the Cloak and taking a seat next to Sirius.

"What is the pineapple doing here?" he said instead of 'hi', pointing to the exotic fruit sitting on the table between them and the fireplace.

"It's a house elf," Sirius said simply.

"What?" Remus exclaimed half laughing, half looking at Sirius in disbelief. "You're joking, right?"

"No, it was being rather persistent as far as cleaning the fireplace went and it just wouldn't go away. And I got bored waiting for you."

Remus stared at the innocent pineapple in shock. "You can't be-" he snapped his mouth before finishing the question, but the damage had already been done.

"'Serious'? I can't be serious?" Sirius asked, a bitter smirk playing on the corner of his lips at the dreadful pun, his expression showing that he clearly wasn't amused. There was definitely something wrong, Remus realised, as Sirius was actually the only person still finding this particular joke funny. "No, you're right; I can't be because I'm you."

"Okay, fine, stop it. Please reverse the awful spell and tell me what's going on."

Sirius didn't say anything immediately. After a few moments of silence he pointed his wand to the fruit and muttered a half-hearted _Finite Incantatem_ and a very confused elf appeared for a second before it disapparated with a loud _CRACK._ Sirius just turned to him raising a single eyebrow and Remus knew what he was about to ask and that there was no way he could ever cover up successfully for what he'd been doing.

"So, did he tell you why?"

"What?" Remus asked perplexed, not at all the question he had been expecting, but still pretty sure that Sirius somehow already knew where he had been.

"I know you were with Reg, Remus."

"Oh. Right, yeah…I- Listen, Sirius, I'm sorry th-"

"Did he tell you why?"

"Why what?" Remus asked again, his voice soft and defeated, afraid of asking for Sirius's forgiveness, not sure if Sirius was willing to give it.

"Why I agreed to tutor him." Sirius's voice was flat and neutral, giving away just how terribly important the answer was to him.

"Yes," Remus said and he felt Sirius tensing, mere inches away from him and he could tell how his shoulders squared and his muscles tightened. After a beat he was sure Sirius had started sweating he went on. "He said he was threatening you about a secret or something. Wasn't very clear on the details, though."

Sirius visibly relaxed and he slumped back in the fluffy, luxurious cushions of the couch obviously relieved. "He isn't _that_ stupid after all."

"I don't suppose you will tell me what he's holding over you," Remus tried to sound coaxing but Sirius shook his head, his cheeks turning a bit pink. "Well, that's interesting…" he commented thoughtfully and watched as Sirius turned even pinker. "Care to tell me at least _how _he found out whatever this top-secret is?"

"It's all Snivellus's fault," Sirius managed to sound petulant even though he was still blushing. "We were kind of fighting-"

"Sirius…"

"Verbally! There were no wands involved, I swear."

"Right. And he managed to make you spill a secret. Really? You raised to his bait?" Remus was surprised, to say the least. There was something very wrong with the whole picture, but he couldn't put his finger on what exactly.

"No, not exactly. He said something and I said something back—you know how these things go—and he may have made a ridiculous suggestion and I may not have been very convincing when I lied."

"'Ridiculous suggestion'? Sirius, you do realise that you're not helping your case here, right?" Remus was dying to know what had happened and he hoped Sirius wouldn't tease him too much.

"Well yeah…I mean, how could he ever know that- erm…never mind. Anyway, Reg heard what Snivellus said and he cornered me right afterwards. It was easier agreeing to his bloody terms than Obliviating him."

"You're unbelievable, Sirius," Remus said shaking his head.

"That I am, but you have to promise me you won't tell anything to James and Peter, Moony." Sirius pleaded with his voice and eyes and Remus would have fallen for it if it weren't for his own voice delivering the plea and his own eyes turning into a puppy's.

"Why?" he asked narrowing his eyes at the other boy.

"I want to tell them myself, but only after we're done with Reg."

"You know that Prongs would probably just help you dig some dirt and find a way to threaten Regulus himself, right?"

"Well, yes, but he'd pester me for all eternity to tell him what Reg knows." Remus was more than slightly surprised that this secret was apparently something Sirius hadn't even told James. It only helped to intrigue him even more.

"All right, I won't tell them anything, but be careful Sirius." What exactly he was warning him against, Remus wasn't sure, but he couldn't help the need to tell Sirius to protect himself. "I'm going to bed, I'm rather tired. Are you coming?"

"In a minute."

"Okay," Remus said and he stood up. "Goodnight, Padfoot," he mumbled before yawning.

"Hey, Remus," Sirius called just as he had started climbing the stairs and Remus turned around curiously, Sirius's borrowed face looking at him upside down from the couch, genuine amusement lighting it up this time. "I used the bathroom a couple of hours ago…" he informed him lewdly. "Nice," he said wiggling his eyebrows.

Remus could do nothing but turn bright red and flee up to their dormitory, Sirius's giggles following all the way.

xxx

TBC

xxx

**Post A/N:** Happy Holidays everyone!


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